“Off The Record” Archive

  • “Philip, what interests you about a leadership class? "Manipulating people."”

    — Dr. Jeff Myers, asking Philip Meznar about his class and Meznar's response

  • “Maybe one day I'll get a nice boyfriend who does nice things for me.”

    — Billy Findley on Allison McLean's boyfriend bringing her Taco Bell

  • “Can you put nine women together and speed up the deliver process to one month?”

    — Mr. Earl Reed on birthing a baby

  • “His intellect and beard are equally intimidating.”

    — Bryan Boling on Dr. Charles

  • “Squats are Satan's exercise. He must have buff thighs.”

    — Danielle Wilson commenting on being sore after working out

  • “Sweeny has massive thighs.”

    — Junior Chad Byers

  • “My hair will eat you... It's already eating me.”

    — Lydia Pugh

  • “Showie Bray: Wait... CAN God fail??
    Jarod Soltis: ONLY if it's a Turner test...”

    — Sophomores discussing the impending doom of the Pentateuch test

  • “If only they made Purell for the soul.”

    — Daniel Grayton

  • “You have a Ph.D. in 'B.S.'-ology!”

    — Dr. Randle to J.T. Nelson
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