The Fourth Side

Bryan library to be converted into fourth gym (satire)

2 months ago Triangle 0
Written by: M. Bellisher Bryan representatives have announced that the Bryan Library will be converted into a fourth campus gym. Effective November 10, the Library will be permanently closed, with the new gym opening in late January. A representative from the Office of Student Life stated, “We understand that students really aren’t that excited about Read More

Opposite sex freshman friendship committed to staying “just friends” (Satire)

2 months ago Triangle 0
Some things never change, and, yes, that includes the inevitability of intimate Freshmen friendships between guys and girls. Because the college must uphold its distinction as a model of conservative Christian piety, freshmen are told during Orientation to avoid classmates of the opposite sex at all times. Nevertheless, the friendships blossom.  Read More

Broken Election Polls Briefly Suspend Identification of Best Christians in Freshmen Class (Satire)

2 months ago Triangle 0
Freshmen SGA Elections opened yesterday after a brutal week of campaigning. Students were treated to several parodies of that golden age Broadway classic “You’ll Be Back” and the masterfully written earworm “Ice Ice Baby.” Our social media feeds were filled with countless memes, videos, and overshared political posts. (The latter was due to the endorsements of current SGA Members, who used their incredible influence in an attempt to handpick... Read More