Broken Election Polls Briefly Suspend Identification of Best Christians in Freshmen Class (Satire)
Freshmen SGA Elections opened yesterday after a brutal week of campaigning. Students were treated to several parodies of that golden age Broadway classic “You’ll Be Back” and the masterfully written earworm “Ice Ice Baby.” Our social media feeds were filled with countless memes, videos, and overshared political posts. (The latter was due to the endorsements of current SGA Members, who used their incredible influence in an attempt to handpick their choices, or in the case of some, their close friends.)
Thank you, current SGA body, for making campaigning requirements modern and for blessing us with these incredible pieces of propaganda. It brings to mind the winter months of 2016. When asked to comment on the current political state of Bryan College’s SGA, a student responded, “Whatever happened to traditional campaigning for mock political office?” We here at “The Fourth Side” share your sentiment, fellow student.
Delayed Start to Chapel Obvious Fault of Southern Baptist Professor (Satire)
As students settled into their normal seats in Rudd Auditorium this morning, something seemed amiss.
(A new addition to our satire column.)