Satire: A Completely Accurate Map of Bryan College Campus

Written by Rob Speed, Head of Satire

DAYTON, TN – For both new students and residents alike, finding one’s way across campus is not always easy. Specifically, it can be challenging to recall the names of the different facilities and what purpose they serve.

Have no fear, though – I am here to help! Here I have listed all the major buildings on campus and what happens there. You’ll never get lost again!

Mercer Hall

Mercer is the home to most classrooms on campus, built with the very dimensions of Noah’s ark! Sometimes I like to imagine fitting two of every animal in the building. Could you squeeze the elements in 312?

Latimer Student Center

Latimer is home to services for the students such as Student Life, the caf, Prideland Grill, the game room, and probably some other things. Since I have no interest in martial arts or self-improvement, I’ve never actually been upstairs. I think there might be a secret society of staff specializing in street fighting, but that’s just a rumor.

Office of Student Life

The Office of Student Life (OSL) is devoted to making campus life more fun and helpful for all students. Students may come by to ask questions, find support, search the lost and found, or even just hang out. I don’t think they’ve noticed that I keep “losing” my water battle just as an excuse to see them again.

The Caf

The caf is located at the bottom floor of Latimer, serving hot food to the students constantly every day. It is not, as some Philistines may refer to it, the “cafeteria.” I made that mistake in the past, but no longer. I now know it is the caf, called nothing else.

Prideland Grill

The grill serves food from 11AM to 11 PM. This is perfect for students who missed meals, athletes who need post-game nourishment, or anyone who just really wants some fries. I definitely haven’t accidentally fallen asleep in the booths before.

The Game Room

Do you like pool? You do now. The game room is a great place to hang out with friends, play retro games, and accidentally hit ping pong balls into the grill.

Student Lounge

The what? We have a student lounge? Where?

Stophel Center

Stophel, just outside the soccer fields and townhouses, is where much of administration works. The welcome desk is prepared to help out visitors and students alike… even though most students have no idea what lies upstairs.

Osborne Hall

Located in Stophel Center, Osborne Hall is sometimes used for Spiritual Formation events and other meetings. It’s a great place to cherish those precious memories of listening to initiation while awkwardly sitting next to your parents.

Rudd Auditorium

This is where chapel is held on the regular. Allegedly, there is a large, rickety downstairs area where the music majors, theater majors, and bats have claimed a residency, with a significant overlap between the three. Again, I’m a little scared to check it out for myself.

Brock Hall

Since I’ve never been downstairs Rudd, I’m not actually sure where Brock is. I’ve heard whispers of its legacy, but my hunts for its location have been fruitless. It’s like the Fountain of Youth, but instead of giving endless life, it gives CFCs (close enough, right?).

Livesay Learning Center

Livesay is the campus library. It’s one of the best spots on campus to study on campus, take advantage of their educational resources, or have a nighttime coffee even though your roommate begged you to stop drinking caffeine so late. I’ll destroy my sleep schedule however I want, Caleb.

Clara Ward School of Nursing

Located in the Livesay Learning Center, the School of Nursing is a fresh new department with facilities optimized for nursing education. Can I just say how jealous I am of the nursing majors? I want to use their big, shiny classrooms. Do I have any interest in nursing? Not at all, but the rooms just seem cool.

Anderson Annex

I thought this was a storage closet. People work here? Huh.

Rankin Center

Rankin Center is home to the criminal justice department and other facilities. I walk by it often enough to confirm it is definitely haunted at night. No other facility has specific departments devoted to tools for crimes (hopefully).

Summers Gym

Depending on when you enter, Summers Gym is either a quiet workout spot or a sports stadium. Plenty of athletes spend their time practicing, building skill, or destroying any guest team that dares compete with the Lions.

Grassy Bowl

Just across Rudd Auditorium, the Grassy Bowl has grass and… not many bowls. The field rests as an occasional place for group activities like sponge wars, the Cathartic Scream, and other events run by Student Life and students alike.

The Triangle

No, not this Triangle. The Triangle is the center of campus, right between Latimer and Mercer. Students spend their time walking to classes and meals, chatting with others, and sitting around to talk with friends for maybe far too long. We think the name is pretty cool. 

With that, you now have a perfect understanding of every spot on campus. All you have to do is carry a printed copy of this article with you at all times, or better yet, commit my sage words to memory!

More seriously, don’t be afraid to ask Student Life or fellow students for directions. Residents are happy to help you find where you need to be. Even if not, you’re rarely more than five minutes away from the right place.


Rob Speed is a junior communications major and the head of satire for the Triangle.