Satire: The Communication Rave
3 weeks ago Triangle 0
Written by Isabelle Hendrich and Rob Speed
“Chug, chug, chug!” the crowd cheered as a student stood on top of the kitchen counter with a Monster energy drink.
On Jan. 28, at 6 p.m. in a seemingly quiet neighborhood, was a normal looking house with several cars parked out front. Little did the people inside know, this would be the night they would remember for the rest of their lives.
At the beginning of semester, Dr. Finch and his wife, Prof. Tracy Finch, invited the whole Communication, Media, and Culture department to their house for dinner. They only planned on ten to fifteen people showing up. To their surprise, not only did everyone in the Communication department and online students arrive, but their friends and family did as well.
Over 100 people were there that night to kick off the first Communication department rave of the history at Bryan College. After hamburgers and hotdogs were eaten, Monsters and Bangs were offered as drinks (only for those 18+ were allowed to drink them). This made the sleep deprived college students literally start bouncing off of the walls with their newfound energy.
In his backyard, Dr. Finch lit his gas powered fire pit for s’mores. The caffeine-filled students devised the ingenious idea of using the top of Dr. Finch’s tool shed to sled off of the roof, despite the absence of snow. People roasting marshmallows lit them on fire and threw them at the ones sledding down the roof. No concerns about starting a fire were entertained.
“It was all fun and games until people started sledding off of the roof and falling off,” said Dr. Finch.
No injuries were sustained, as the students and their friends had consumed so much caffeine that they had become superheroes, with the abilities of Superman. They considered creating their own society and taking over the U.S. government, but eventually decided against it. “I had an 8 a.m.,” one student explained. “Maybe next semester.”
The rave has since been dubbed a new Communication department tradition. Local authorities now hold the Finches’ home in disdain. Students now hold their home in loving adoration, ready for the next caffeinated party.