Ryan Seacrest’s (inadvertent) take on Valentine’s Day

By Katherine CarpenterTop40ValentinesImage
Staff Writer

With Valentine’s Day close on the horizon, Bryan students may be scratching their heads, wondering why they don’t have a Valentine. What are we doing wrong? What should we be doing instead? Luckily, the American Top 40 are here to save us from our romantic ignorance.

How to be a good (or bad) Valentine, according to the Top 40.

“Love Me Harder” by Ariana Grande featuring The Weeknd: Though this song has so far spent 17 consecutive weeks on the Top 40, this song’s content should perhaps be taken as advice on what not to do in a relationship. “The ones that love me, I tend to leave behind” do not prove to be particularly encouraging words when it comes to love.

“Take Me to Church” by Hozier: This one hits the nail on the head. Take that boy to church! No matter how much you love him, or how nice he is, everybody needs them some Jesus.

“The Heart Wants What it Wants” by Selena Gomez: Maybe this one should be taken as a warning. Though Gomez seems to know what she wants isn’t good for her, she admits that she just can’t seem to let it go. Plus, the song is written about Justin Bieber, who, especially in the world of romance, is someone to steadfastly avoided.

“Don’t” by Ed Sheeran: Don’t cheat. Just don’t.

“Blank Space” by Taylor Swift: Resident queen of heartbreak, Taylor Swift, details the power of a “crazy ex-girlfriend.” Even if your relationship does go down in flames, she’s more in control than you think she is. She “can make all the tables turn,” leaving you a little disoriented and a lot single.

“Sledgehammer” by Fifth Harmony: Ah, the initial rush of a new crush. “If you could feel my heart beat now, it would feel just like a sledgehammer” is about the best way to describe the first stages of liking someone. If your valentine this year is someone you’re just getting to know, enjoy this part! Because soon you’ll likely end up running into some rough patches…

“Jealous” by Nick Jonas: “It’s my right to be hellish” are words no boy should ever use. No matter the circumstances, no boy ever has any reason to be “hellish” towards any girl he likes. And if a boy uses that as an excuse for his bad behavior, ladies, you run far away.

“Lips Are Movin’” by Meghan Trainor: This song explains what to do when your love affair goes sour. The lyrics matter-of-factly state that when a boy hasn’t been faithful, it’s “good-bye-bye-bye!”

“Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran: Though Ed’s other song on the Top 40 is a little more to the point, this sweet ballad about ever-lasting love will leave you feeling romantic and starry-eyed. Serenading your sweetheart in the Triangle with lyrics like “darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70,” is a surefire way to get that girl to go from potential valentine status to something a little more permanent.

Though we can’t all have Ed Sheeran’s lyrical talent, or Ariana Grande’s soaring whistle tones, or Taylor Swift’s everything, we can all still learn a little something from their best tips and tricks in the world of love.