FIRST DATE: Problems and Solutions
3 weeks ago Triangle 0
Written by: Rylee Evans, staff writer
Do you send another text? Do you pay the check? Do you ask them first? These are just some of the questions you ask yourself when you like someone. Let’s examine some dating fails and successes.
There are so many grey areas and questions which make dating a challenge. Today’s society may be the most confusing dating generation yet. With all of the distractions and ways to communicate, the game has changed. Dating websites like Match.com, Zoosk.com, or eHarmony.com, as well as social media, such as Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, have made it to where you don’t even have to meet the person face to face to “fall in love.”
According to the Dating Advice website, Match.com has 23.5 million users. More than half of the users lie on their dating profile. “20% of women will use photos from when they were younger, while 40% of men will lie about their jobs.”
To begin, I sat down with my friend to chat about a guy she had an interest in. She had an eye for this boy for a while, and he was finally showing her attention. She wanted advice on how to act and what to do. In time, she became more independent and confident. Later, Kallie (names have been changed to respect identity) texted me about an upcoming date. She came home very disappointed. “Alex” had texted her and asked to go out to eat, and she accepted with anticipation. Her date started off on a bad note as he was 30 minutes late. The Bustle website states, “women surveyed by Match agreed that a date arriving more than 15 minutes late is a bad look. Perhaps unsurprisingly, one in four men surveyed think showing up late is OK first date behavior.” A little annoyed, she drug herself into the car. He welcomed her into the car and asked about her day, and Kallie regained confidence in her date.
They arrived at the restaurant and Kallie waited for Alex to open her car door, but he didn’t. She then realized Alex was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt. Compared to her heels and jeans, he looked like he had hardly tried. She brushed it off in her mind thinking, “he didn’t have time to change after working out.”
From the moment they sat down to eat, Alex couldn’t stay off of his phone. The Bustle website states, “For the single women surveyed by Match, the number one turn-off on a first date was a date checking their phone regularly: only one in 10 women thought that was OK behavior, while one in four men found it acceptable.”
Kallie tried to steer his attention, but he only peeked his eyes up a few times. She eventually focused on the basketball game playing on the TV.
As the food came, Kallie’s date shielded his food with his elbows on the table. He then burped without covering his mouth. According to the Bustle website, “When it comes to eating out, 56 percent of women prefer a man who has some manners.” Kallie could not believe he was acting like this. She felt embarrassed, shocked and disgusted. Alex said his stomach hurt. Kallie told him that if he sat up, it would help. Alex rested all the way back and threw his arms on the booth he was sitting in. He raised his shirt up to scratch his stomach.
This confirmed in Kallie’s head that she wanted to go home. Alex looked at Kallie and told her he was running low on money. Then, he asked for the check and told the waiter the checks are separate. According to the USA Today website, “Broken down by gender, 82 percent of the men and 72 percent of the women said the man should pay the full bill.” Alex dropped Kallie off, saying he had a good time and couldn’t wait until the next date. Kallie thought differently.
After hearing a story like that, we wonder “Where have the traditional, classic gentlemen gone?” A girl wants a guy to win her over. If you like a girl and want to pursue a relationship with her, you have to be honest with her about your feelings. If you think she is pretty, tell her. If you think her outfit looks good, tell her. If you like her, tell her. The Bustle website states, “The SIA survey found that, on a great first date, 94 percent of single women want their date to compliment their appearance.” Most girls want an honest, humble guy. Open her door- end of story. No matter where you are or how difficult it is, make a point to open her door. Manners and table manners are important in life but really important on a date. Yes, you want to be comfortable with your date, but it is just as important to keep some things to yourself. You should always try to be on your best behavior, no matter how long or short you have been together. Pay for the check. Money may be an issue, but if that’s the case, stay in. You don’t have to buy love.
Text her and tell her to have a good day. Ask about her day. Be the person you expect your significant other to be. Every action affects your future. It doesn’t have to be super hard, but it does require some thought. In the end, if it doesn’t work out, it is not meant to be. It’s called a “crush” for a reason.
Rylee Evans is a freshman communications: digital media major at Bryan College. She is from Pikeville, Tenn. and graduated from Bledsoe County High School. Rylee is on the women’s soccer team, and she enjoys spending time with her friends and family, hunting and boxing.