Christopher Yuan and the Christian life

Written by: Nathan Ecarma

Christopher Yuan battles his same-sex attractions to this day.

Before converting to Christianity, Yuan lived his American dream filled with sex, power and money, as he said in chapel. Yuan remains in that process because he denies himself and picks up his cross every day.

In his book, Out of a Far Country, he recounts frequenting bathhouses where he would hook up with other homosexual men. To fund his addictions, Yuan dealt drugs. He thrived in the business of drug dealing, and so he entered the business of hosting parties.

Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan, his mother, co-authored a book telling the full story. 

In the midst of living his view of the good life, Drug Enforcement Agency agents and the Atlanta Police knocked on his door. He asked his hook up partner to get the door while he dried off from showering. The agents pushed past his friend finding several ounces of ice and 300 hits of ecstasy.

But the bust didn’t shake Yuan. He tried to maintain his previous life. Using a pay phone, he called sellers and buyers, but no one picked up. He cooperated with the DEA but they watched him with weekly drug tests. Yuan had a system to be able to use and pass. He would buy clean urine and put it into a Elmer’s glue bottle which he would microwave to warm up and then hide in his underwear.

One day, his purchased urine had codeine in it. Before he could use different urine, two tests had come back. Then a third test came back where he tried cleansing by drinking gallons of water. Before long, the door closed in front of him in the Atlanta City Detention Center.

His version of the good life ended with him calling his mother telling her what happened.  Yuan faced six years in prison. But even on the cement floor of his prison cell, he was not at rock bottom. He fell to it when a nurse slid a piece of paper over the counter that had his results written: HIV+.

Broken, hopeless, headed nowhere,” he wandered the prison. He found a Gideon New Testament in a trashcan, and after reading through it and conversing with Christians, he found his faith.

Yuan explained how he doesn’t have an instance of conversion, like Saul on the road to Damascus, but rather it was a process of daily renewal and picking up his cross.

Even with 17 years of being a Christian, Yuan’s desires persist. But God’s commandments have become less burdensome to him, as he continues to fight the fight of faith.

Yuan found longevity in his resolve to pick up his cross daily by employing a God-centered view of the Christian life over a man-centered view. Christians usually resolve to live holy lives after highs from an uplifting experience or situation, and then they focus on what they’re going to do, Yuan said. Experience and emotions aren’t bad, Yuan added, but Christian’s can’t base their success on what they’re going to do and how they feel.

“The basis of the Christian life has to be grounded in who God is, and it’s God who gives us the grace and the perseverance and the long-suffering,” Yuan said. “It’s recognizing that first. That helps to take the burden off my shoulders, [because] God is one that gives us the strength. God is the one that gives us the victory.”

The Christian life is about union with Christ, Yuan said. “If God is the source of our success as a Christian, then are we plugged into that? If every day we need to plug our phone into the wall; we ourselves need to plug ourselves into God.”

While Christians plug in by reading the Bible and prayer, Yuan warns against understanding union with Christ in these terms alone. Yuan doesn’t ask his friends if they did their Bible reading and praying, but asks “Are you being enriched through that [Bible reading and praying]? It’s not did you do these, it’s, did you worship God?”

The Christian must understand the aspect of suffering in the Christian life even when obeying Him. “It’s a delight to obey God but it’s not easy,” Yuan said. “There is no Gospel without suffering.”

God uses suffering to draw us close to himself. He said, “Sometimes, in our most difficult times we are closest with God.”

A fixation on self is idolatry, Yuan said. “if we fixate so much on our sin struggle, we miss out on Christ.”

The Christian life is a process. His commands become less burdensome, as Yuan explained. Following Christ is not easy, but as singer John Mark McMillan said, “it’s the best way to live.”

 

Nathan Ecarma studies Bible, culture, and language. He serves on the Worldview Initiative and as Editor-in-Chief for the school newspaper, the Bryan Triangle. In between theological conversations, he enjoys binge watching Netflix and attempting to sing his favorite songs.

Follow his Twitter: ecarmanathan